fruitoftheloon

It's 86 degrees outside. It's supposed to get up to 90, and the sun is shining.

I have a friend in Thailand right now, and the weather in Seattle--SEATTLE--is sunnier and warmer than Thailand.
Thailand. Yeah.

*Cries like an emo vampire and waits for the sun to go down*

*Even though emo vampire is redundant. They're all emo. Whatever.*

Ahaha. I love Top Chef. You know why? Because the producers are assholes to the chefs. Case in point, the challenge taking place right now:

They have to cook two eggs, in ten minutes...

With one hand held behind their back the whole time.

Recipe: Princess Cake
Ingredients:
1 pot curdled/ruined pastry cream
One bowl butter, exploded in the microwave
1 pot correct pastry cream
2 pairs of very exausted arms from said pastry cream
Several burns from boiling milk/water
One '&*#(@*#$#@ get away from the !@#$%^& butter/milk/other' dog

Combine over a period of several hours. Season with liberal amounts of frustration and angst, and a pinch of crying. Serve with a side of mother who is so patient and helpful she should be sainted.

Lately, someone in the house has been using the knives to cut some sort of meat product--sausage, bacon, ham, whatever--and then doing a shoddy job washing them. Some how, I invariably end up using said meat-tasting knife to cut up my produce. I'm tired of my strawberries, my apples, and yes, my motherfucking mangoes, tasting like meat.

Also, someone needs to learn how to wash dishes. Food still on the plate? THAT MEANS YOU AREN'T DONE WASHING THEM, ASSHAT.

Lately I've been getting a little bit tired with Nine Inch Nails fans. Normally they're nice, but there are two groups who seem to be popping up recently, and I find them obnxious (to say the least).

Group 1: Trent should go back to drugs. These people believe that Trent Reznor (aka Nine Inch Nails) was a better musician and performer when he was addicted to both drugs and alcohol, and on a self-destructive course that probably would have ended up with him dead. But hey, at least his music would have been 'real', right?

Group 2: People who think that The Downward Spiral was his greatest cd ever, and that he should just give up making any more music, because he'll never get back to that. There are also people who bitch about how his music has changed since he started. Yes. He's been doing this for over 20 years, and his life had changed, ergo one would expect that he would evolve as a musician. Apparently, some people thing musicians should just put out cds of the same thing over and over.

I understand it's hard when you like a musician and they start producing music that you don't like, but that's what happens, and you either have to deal with it or move on.

And I really don't see how anyone who wishes their favorite music would start self-destructing again just for the sake of a more 'raw' sound can call themselve a fan.

A haiku for Japan:

Japanese singers
Pretty boys with few clothes
Steal my soul daily

So lately I've gotten into the habit of doing the "wave" at random times. Like, I'll be at work, alone, and I'll get the urge, so I look around and make sure there's nobody around to see, then I do the wave. Or I'll do mini-waves with one arm as I walk.





WaAaAaAaAaAave!


Alright, back to paper-writing.

Sometimes I wake up after having wierd dreams, and I just think 'what the fuck', because some of them are seriously messed up.

Take two recent examples:

1. I'm herding small children through like, a video game level, to keep this woman from killing them. And I get them to this room where I stick them in capsules, and the woman's coming, so to protect myself I have to put on some makeup from sephora. In my dream, they have makeup kits designed by celebrities, and of course the one I have to use was designed by Sting (the musician) and all I could think was 'of course he chose to use browns and golds, the colors I can't wear' and I don't want to look stupid even though the makeup will, for some reason, save me from this crazy woman-creature-thing.

2. I'm in this large house, with a wooden catwalk all around the edges, with people shooting at me and my family. I shoot them, and somehow end up folding up people's skins (like if you removed all of their bones and muscles and whatnot) and stacking them with the laundry.


On a side note, there's this NIN song 'The Downward Spiral (The Bottom)' that I love, even though it's really creepy, and sounds like it belongs in the begining of a horror movie where the psychotic killer tries to off themself. I mean, the title's pretty accurate-it really is the absolute bottom of a downward spiral.

Now that I've established that I clearly have something wrong happening in my cerebral cortex area, I'm gonna go back to the essay of doom, mkaythxbye.

I just saw the wierdest movie of my life in my Bollywood film class. Well, I didn't see all of it, but he showed us quite a bit. It's called 'Anniyan'. Here's what it is, basically:

Anniyan = Bollywood Romance + song and dance numbers + multiple personalities + The Crow + The Ring + Se7en + Kill Bill + a reaper + The Matrix + bad subtitles + an obviously cracked out director + a pit of fire in a karate place + man fried like a chicken + Splash

If it sounds wierd, that's because it was. Seriously, I was just like...'what?'

iTunes watchamacallit

Number of Songs: 2666

Sort by song title:
First: "-The Monkey Song", from Animaniacs
Last: "Það Sést Ekki Sætari Mey" by Bjork

Sort by time:
First: "Adoration of the Earth" by Igor Stravinsky, 0:19
Last: "Project Runway, Episode 4" by Tim Gunn, 19:27 (Free Tim Gunn!)

Sort by artist:
First: "Heavens and Earth" by
Last: "Beauty Song" by Zhang Ziyi

Sort by album:
First: "Meat Beat Manifesto" by Nine Inch Nails, on "The Perfect Drug Versions"/ Halo Eleven
Last: "Relax" by Powerman 5000, on "Zoolander" (the soundtrack)

Earliest Added: "Y'Know," from Bubblegum Crisis
Last Added: "Finale" from the Sleeping Beauty Soundtrack

Top Five Most Played Songs:
1. Nine Inch Nails, "Closer" (73x) (Adding in the un-remastered version, it's actually 135x))
2. Tricky, "Excess" (70x)
3. Bjork, "Pleasure is All Mine" (62x)
4. Celldweller, "So Sorry To Say" (56x)
5. Nine Inch Nails, "The Big Come Down" (56x)

First song that comes up on Shuffle: "Parting Gift" by Fiona Apple

Find "sex." How many songs come up?
8

Find "death." How many songs come up?
3

Find "love." How many songs come up?
118

Find "monkey." How many songs come up?
3

Okay...I added the last one...Yeah...

Current Mood: sleepy

Current Music: The Hills are Alive with it

Let's see, thoughts on today...

1. 3 hours of sleep = not fun

2. 3 hours of sleep = everyone I meet is suddenly a complete toolbag

3. My knee hates me and has decided to suddenly stop working.

4. Dude, does anyone else know Von Iva? I think I have a heterosexual girl crush on the lead singer. Actually, they're all cool. Man, I wish I was a rocker chick.

5. Online comics are fun until they suck away your time and soul.

So, this weekend was unusually busy for me. A quick rundown:

Friday: Dinner to celebrate Sam's birthday; there was a snafoo with reservations, so the whole thing took awhile. But it was pretty fun, and it's always nice to eat away from the cafeteria. The night ended at Alyssa and Katies, watching 'Fight Club', but I was tired so I ended up leaving before it was over.

Saturday: Went to see 'V for Vendetta'. Hugo Weaving was AMAZING. I mean, he basically wears a mask the ENTIRE movie, and you still get such a feel for the character's emotions... I definitely want to see it again. Then for some reason we ended up back at Alyssa and Katie's again, watching porn. It was pretty bad-there was basically no plot whatsoever. But apparently there's this really long movie, one of the most expensive ever made, modeled after Pirates of the Carribean. Now, I don't particularly care for porn, but it sounds interesting. So, if people end up chipping in, I may have to at least sneak a peak.

Sunday: Brunch with peoples, then playing basketball (I was dragged into it.) But now I'm really tired.

(For the record, I did do other stuff, those were just the exiting bits.)

The first Harry Potter is on right now. Holy shit, they're so young and adorable! Zoinks.

Back from break. I didn't do much-mostly slept and ate. But, I did get my hair redone, and I got metal shot through my earlobes with a gun...also known as getting my ears pierced. Again. Hopefully this time I won't discover I'm allergic to the earings they used six months after the fact. That would be, you know, nice.

In other news, there are some really hot guys in my dorm. Like, really hot. I'm not a huge fan of dormcest, but it's so late in the year that I dare say if the opportunity presented istelf, I might...well, hell, I don't know what I'd do. But I might do something. At the very least, get some pictures with them. A girl needs bragging material.

So tonight was the formal, and it was...interesting. It was fun to get dressed up and go, but I didn't know many people. The few people who didn't have dates ended up leaving, and as a final kicker, just as I was leaving to go, 'Closer' was playing. My favorite song in the world, and no one to dance with
On a positive note, I did get to talk to a kid from my Japanese class, and got to walk around looking really hot, if I do say so myself.

The problem inherent in dances is that there are really only two ways to have a good time:
1. Go with someone (a date) and spend the evening with them.
2. Go with a group of friends and stick together. (Or go alone, as long as you know a ton of people.)

Unfortunately, I fulfilled neither requirement. I'll be attempting to somehow salvage the night so I don't go to sleep depressed; we'll see how that goes.

Last night I dreamed I was the Grim Reaper's mistress. Seriously.


...I feel a story coming on.

.....
.....
.....

But I also feel like that's really wierd.

This is an open letter to people who have pissed me off. I'm sure they'll never read it, but I need to say it for my own sake.

Bathroom Girl: I don't know why you have to always put the toilet seat up, but since you're basically the only one who does it, you should put it down when you're done. Also? If there's still stuff in the toilet bowl, that means you HAVE TO KEEP FLUSHING you stupid cow.

Staircase Boy: The FIRE ESCAPE is not your personal entryway into the house. If people invite you over, they can walk down two flights of stairs. And if they absolutely can't and you need to come in through the fire escape, DO NOT wake me up in the middle of the night by rapping on my window so I can let you in. I AM NOT A FUCKING DOORMAN.

Guitar Boy: You are not a troubador, and this is not Renaissance Italy. If you want to sit in circles and play your guitar and sing and be freaking wierd and unnatural like that, fine, I don't care. BUT NOT AT 2 IN THE MORNING YOU TOOLBAG. Also, your music sucks. Also, I want to break your instrument over your back. Also, I'm pretty much sure that your alter ego is 'Staircase Boy', in which case you should go into hiding like, now.

Irritating Girl in My English Class: You have no idea what you're talking about. Has it maybe occurred to you that if every week you get into arguments with people about stuff, and you're usually in the minority, it might be a sign that you're wrong? Hm? Also, your sex scene was a piece of trite crap that sounded like a Trojan commercial. In fact...

My English Class: You know what? Maybe I did write semi-hardcore slash prOn. That's because he wanted a SEX scene, not a LOVE scene with PEAKS OF PLEASURE and mushy sentiment. If I wanted to write a sentintimental story (WHICH THE TEACHER SAID NOT TO BTW) I could rip off any love scene in a cheesy romance novel.

Irritating Girl in my Film Class: Okay seriously? I realize it's a class, and the teacher's making comments when we watch the movies, but that doesn't give you liscense to be LOUD-ASS and IRRITATING. We UNDERSTAND that you LIKE INDIAN MOVIES. We DON'T CARE.

Other Irritating Girl in my Film Class: We get it. You've been to India, you're going back, you love India. Please see previous comments with regards to how much we care. (Hint: WE DON'T.)

Well. I certainly feel much better now.

I shouldn't call myself infamous yet; I may not be. But it's possible that people from my creative writing class are, even now, telling their friends that some girl in their class read a really raunchy gay sex scene she'd written. I've read raunchier, but most of them probably haven't. Or at least, they didn't admit to it.

I didn't actually have to read it outloud; he gives us a chance to volunteer and if no one does he starts picking people, but I don't think he would have picked me to read. But I volunteered, mainly because why did I even write it if I wasn't willing to share it with other people? I'm sure some(many) of them were appalled/grossed out/shocked/etc. But you know what? I don't care. The teacher told us to write a sex scene. He didn't want it to be funny or romantic; the point was to write about something that many people don't like to write about. So I took that and ran with it, and wrote about two men having sex. Maybe it was more explicit than other people's; it was the most detailed-I alluded more than I actually described-but it was the only story that wasn't between a man and a woman. I'd rather write something that makes people uncomfortable and is raunchy than produce some trite love-scene stolen out of a romance novel, and a bad one at that. There were definitely stories that verged on the icky-wicky romantic side. He said 'sex scene', not love scene.

So I'm now trying to just reisgn myself to maybe-possibly becoming the class wierdo. If I want to become a writer as a full-time profession, I'll have to get used to people criticizing my work, or thinking it's wierd. Besides, I don't plan on having a long career in writing gay porn. The only real concern I might have is if I decide to write children's books, and someday my gay-porn piece comes out from an old classmate. Then again, considering how most of my stories involve death and zombies and that sort of thing, and considering how I hate children, that seems unlikely.　I think I'll really just have to wait until the end of next week's class, and see if there's a big impact or not.

ME: oh! my creative writing class, he gave us our weekly assignment: a sex scene. it can't be funny, intentionally or unintentially and it can't be sentimental/romantic. so i'm thinking rough, hardcore slash or as hardcore as i can do it, with some bondage maybe. yum.
LATER
ME: either way
it's gonna be some freaky sex
we're talking black leather throwdown
maybe some s&m
BRETTE: slash really?
hah! black leather throwdown
ME: yes!
black
leather
RESTRAINTS
BRETTE: collars!
ME: hot guys
BRETTE: dog collars!
ME: COLLARS
fucking biting eachother
SLAMMING INTO WALLS
BRETTE:digging in nails...
biting the back of the neck to keep them in place
leather pants
holding wrists down
cursing
growling
THROWDOWN, MOTHERFUCKER!
BRETTE: slight hair pulling (to get the head where it needs to be coughcough)
ME: YES!
oh man
BRETTE: do it
ME: i'm gonna be the class freak

Here that? That's the sound of the death knell, ringing for Valentine's day. Finally, the cursed day is drawing to a close. Only time will reveal the total number of casualties.

So I just called my mom, and apparently she's babysitting for a friend. There's something very strange about thinking of my parents babysitting. I mean, obviously they raised me and Brette, but you have to raise your kids. (Well, most people do.) I guess I always figured that parents were usually like 'okay, we raised our kids, it was fun, but let's not do it again'. Then again, I'm not fond of the little hellions, so what would I know? Also, mom just took a test to get certified to teach floor pilates, which she really likes. I'm proud of her for going and doing that; it's definitely a change away from the way her life has been since she gave birth to Brette and me. I don't know if I could be that brave about trying something that new. Hopefully she enjoys it. And while I'm hoping, it would be nice if my dad could get either a) get a job he doesn't hate, or b)retire soon. I'm grateful for everything that my parents have done for me, but I feel bad about all the sacrifices they've made.
This weekend was basically insane. For the first time in my life I actually had too many social engagements. Life had been pretty crazy recently, and I'm getting to the point where I just want to go back to when I was young and things were simple, even if it didn't seem like it at the time. Especially with valentine's day coming up, which I'm not a fan of. But I'm being prepared, and am making iTunes mixes to help me no matter what my mood. So far there are four:
1.Fuck off, I'm eating ice cream: a list full of sad songs about getting someone's heart broken, which, when it happens, will probably turn me into an angry psycho hermit and lead to increased chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream consumption.
2.Oooh la la: songs that are 'sexy' either because of the lyrics, or the way the person sings them. I'll admit, sometimes my 'sexy' translates into 'strange' 'violent' and 'creepy' for other people.
3. Wo ai ni: love songs, plain and simple. Not as sappy as you'd think (I hope so.)
4. 'To my lover: fuck you': in case i get mistreated by an asshole, songs about love gone bad.
Currently my valentine's day plans are as follows:
Eat chocolate. Dance. Mock all the couples engaging in tacky PDAs. (Bitter? Who, me? But seriously, I'm not a fan of them.) Eat more chocolate. Not wear red because apparently once I got my hair dyed red all of a sudden it looks bad and omg I love wearing red so that kind of sucks. So I'll wear black instead. Listen to angry music. Listen to sexy music. Wish I had a radio show so I could play the most unromantic songs I knew. Read NC17 fanfiction. Look at the poster above my computer with the kissing couple and think 'damn that's hot' and 'I need a boyfriend' and then realize that boys are more trouble than they're worth, but I'd be the worst lesbian ever, so I need to either find a solution or join a nunnery. Realize that nuns probably can't listen to angry music and drool over Trent Reznor. Drool over Trent Reznor.